She’s Not the Enemy

We’ve all heard them—the songs where a woman comes for another woman because she’s “taking her man.” Jill Scott’s Ya Gettin’ in the Way. Beyoncé’s Ring the Alarm. Monica’s So Gone. It’s a whole playlist of pain aimed not at the man who broke the commitment, but at the woman who “dared to want him too.”

The music is soulful, the vocals are fire—but the message? It’s poison wrapped in a melody.

The Problem With the Narrative

These songs tell us other women are the problem. That if she wasn’t there, we’d be safe, loved, chosen. They reinforce an old story: women are rivals, not allies.

And that story doesn’t just live in music. It plays out in real life:

• In workplaces, when women compete for one leadership seat instead of demanding more seats at the table.

• In friendships, when envy whispers louder than celebration.

• In families, when generations of “don’t trust other women” shape our bonds.

At its core, it’s the scarcity lie: if she shines, I can’t. If she wins, I lose.

The Cost of Competition

When we buy into that rivalry, everybody loses. We waste our energy fighting the wrong battles. We turn our backs on potential allies. And we reinforce the same systems that thrive on keeping women divided.

Meanwhile, the real issue—men’s accountability, our own boundaries, and the cultural scripts that tie our value to being chosen—go untouched.

Rewriting the Song: From Rivalry to Circle

What if we stopped fighting each other and started fighting for each other?

The truth is, when women see each other as rivals, we all lose. It keeps us isolated, suspicious, and exhausted—spending energy proving ourselves instead of pouring into each other. But when we shift our mindset from scarcity to abundance, everything changes.

Inside a circle of women, real healing begins:

• We call out the lies we’ve inherited—like the one that says, “she’s your enemy.”

• We practice celebrating another woman’s shine without dimming our own.

• We learn to trust again, because linking arms is far stronger than raising fists.

• And we remind each other that worth, love, and opportunity are not limited resources.

The New Anthem of Sisterhood

Imagine the playlist flipping from “you’re in my way” to “we rise together.” Imagine if the hook wasn’t “stay away from my man” but “your shine makes mine brighter.”

That’s the soundtrack women need on repeat. That’s the song of sisterhood.

Your Turn

So, let me ask you: where in your life have you given away your power—competing, comparing, or settling—when you could choose you instead? What would it look like to step out of rivalry and into freedom?

That’s what we’ll explore together in the Fearless & Free Workshop. It’s a space to shift the old story, stand in your worth, and discover what happens when you stop fighting for scraps and start choosing yourself.

Because when you choose you, everything else shifts.